Howdy all. Will keep this updated as easier to put in one spot and keep a record. Be nice to be able to look back on this text and laugh in years to come going through all this crappola......the idea is DEFIITELY to come out intact in 5 years time and have little or no recollection of all this baloney.
First thing is first:
O M G - I'm an 80's chick!! Shit a brick 'ey? Been a long time in the making but by jeez, by jingoes, by crikey it's kinda nice lemme tell you! Jumped on the scales yesterday (quite by default as I forgeot to these days, couldn't give a rats what I weigh to be perfectly frank) and lo and behold there is 89.8kg staring back at me - blow me down with a feather! Have next to no fill in my band at present due to me having it manually removed prior to my surgery as I was paranoid about vomitting this that and whatever with a 30cm incision straight down my guts - NOT an entertaining thought! Been enjoying the fruits of no fill though.....orgasmic to eat a crumpet or have a bread roll or chicken crumstick off a BBQ chicken. Fun best stop sometime soon though or I'll be back at 116kg in no time. D'oh!
Guts of it is highly likely it's lymphoma (according to my ultra-clever female Professor rheumatologist) but more tests to be run and then that will assist with the diagnosis. My haematologist has excelled I must say and simply due to added years of experience I'm running pretty much with my rheumy as she's so damn clued up with everything it's not funny. Saw her yesterday morning for an hour and she was most impressed with my lever arch folder full of prior results *groan* but gave her a tonne of information in a short space of time so that was great. Lengthy physical ensued and she then said rheumatoid arthritis (definitely) however too much going on blood wise for that to be it, if you know what I mean? Her gut says lymphoma so she requested more realllllly curly flash named bloods to rule out other stuff and I see her again on 30th June. She has ordered that I have a nucleaur bone scan as there is so much joint activity and that the main problem with my shoulders (adhesive capsulitis) she doubted would be fixed in a hurry. Dammit - they kill and only let me sleep in 90 min blocks. Pffft!
So bloods already completed and nucleur bone scan next Tuesday and she wants me to get a pulminologist running out of RNS (hospital) because now there is lung involvement with the lesions I'll need somebody looking after that organ alone. Pffft. She absoutely wants a biopsy from somewhere and when she was eyeing off the muscle in calf I all but went through the roof. She told me that she recently wrote a paper of sarcoid patients testing positive for sarcoidotis when an actual muscle was biopsied, rather than a lymph node.......ouch - a calf muscle that's just sitting there and minding it's own business????? She ruled out a biopsy of one of the lung lesions based on their location in my lungs...bummer! She said they're deep in the back and not bolt upright in the middle which is a safer position for them (!!) so performing a bronciowhateveroscopy they call that would be a bit of a fizzer she reckoned. Pulminologist will obviously know more.
So that's where I'm at. Fortunately both my poppets having a great run of late health wise......I do kinda spend autumn dreading winter being around the corner as both of their ENT problems REALLY flare up but so far so good, made up with that! Mackenzie powering at her little kindy (like, unbelievably so - blowing us all away!!) and Em plodding on at school and still buzzing she was one of the first 3 in the class to get her "Pen Licence" - all very fun stuff apparently when you're in Year 4. LOL
Will update with more next week I promise. Jeff stop worrying about me and get on with locking that beautiful daughter of yours up and slipping food under the door for the next 7 years! Yeah I tripped over a pic on Lisa's Facebook - since when did Ash quit being 3?????! ;0) and made me realise all the more I've just GOT to get over there to Perth sometime soon as been too long most definitely.
Oh and one more sleep till my boy gets home - YAY! He's marginally bevvied at Heathrow as we speak as celebrating a great day in his London office but by God he's been through the wringer in the last week over there sorting out his Finlay (his son) stuff. Quick update on my stepson being 'whipped' by mothers boyfriend complete with leather glove in mouth and bruising cream applied to buttocks 2 days later *sob* but we've forced it to all be opened up again and the police are getting involved (just as DOCS equivalent in the UK should have had them the first time!!!!) and great knowing what's going to happen now and with new documentation will be able to scare the crap out of his mother to bin the boyfriend or we'll go for permanent custody here in Oz. She's REALLLY tight with her parents so they will see a copy of the Surrey Police Report and that'll pretty much spell out what's been going on and hopefully they will step in and apply more pressure for her to bin the prick! Got a good feeling that this time that's what she'll do and Fin (DSS) will be marginally happier again - that's the name of the game here most definitely. He (understandably!) wants to stay with his mother but unless she steps up to the plate and makes some tough calls then she can go to hell and we'll take him....what parent wouldn't want a child removed from that hideous situation. (Admittedly hasn't happened again but if it happened 3 times already who can guarantee is it won't happen again....?) Anyhoo just be happy to have my gorgy boy home - been a big few weeks in this household. *groan*
Nice chatting everyone..... By the by I saw a great quote on EB and really liked it so just to be super cheesy will sign off from it - really rings true for some reason:
"There are things that we don't want to happen, but have to accept, things we don't want to know, but have to learn, and people we can't live without, but have to let go."
So the big black shadow is the 14cm'ish mass and that ball resting on the side of it is what's ruining all the fun. LOL If it was all just fluid it woulnd't bu that suss but given the solid bit in it (growing also) that's what the problem is. :-(
Went for second opinion with v. lame gyno (supposedly pelvic sub-specialist) and made me realise that the gyn/oncologist I'm with is who I need to be with. One good thing the gyno requested was a pelvic u/s from a specialist place that that's ALL they do, they were exeptional with their knowledge and their imaging pics.
EXAMINATION: Pelvic Ultrasound
CLINICAL HISTORY: Pelvic mass Previous history of hysterectomy REPORT: Consistent with the surgical history, the uterus is absent.
The left ovary measures 2.4 x 2.0 x 0.8 cm. It is normal in size, shape and echotexture. Colour Doppler Imaging showed no unusual neovascularisation. Posterior to the left ovary is a smaller tubular cystic lesion which measures 3.4 x 0.9 x 1.0 cm. This may be a hydrosalpinx.
The right ovary is not seen separately from a complex cystic structure which measures 14.9 x 10.7 x 11.3 cm. Colour Doppler Imaging showed no unusual neovascularisation with Resistance Index of 0.4. It contains faintly echogenic fluid within, multiple vascular septations and a fixed solid lesion which measures 3.0 x 2.9 x 3.0 cm. Vascularity is seen peripherally in the solid nodule on Colour Doppler Imaging demonstrating a Resistance Index of 0.4
There are no other pelvic or adnexal masses seen. There is no free fluid in the pouch of Douglas.
CONCLUSION: The right ovarian cyst may be a dermoid but a cystadenoma is the other possibility, in view of its recent growth. Histopathological assessment would be of value.
It's just the damn size of the thing that keeps freaking me out! It's at the stage now where it's bloody painful. KInda feels like a prolapsed uterus that will fall out any tick of the clock, only difference being I no longer have a uterus! LOL
Best fly.....Endone & Xanax finally kicked in and I can move around without too muc grief so will go get come more shut eye I think. Thanks for listening to babble on, it's my speciality after all. ;-)
Well nothing to do with my weight loss journey, that's the least of my woes at the moment! ROFL Decided to add my journey here with what's going on at the mo with my health so that friends/family can read where I'm at without me having to run through it 8+ times a day.
History: Complex cystic lesion in the pelvis with mural solid component ? ovarian cystic mass lesion rather than hydrosalpinx. I note a chest x-ray done yesterday also demonstrated no discrete abnormality.
Technique: Post-contrast examination performed with arterial phase images obtained through the chest and portal venous and delayed images through the abdomen and pelvis.
Chest: The trachea is situated in the midline. No thyroid enlargement seen. No thyroid nodule noted.
No significant mediastinal or hilar mass lesion identified. No chest wall or pleural speace abnormality detected. No effusion seen.
Minor lymphy glands are seen in both axillae.
In the lung window display there are two small nodular lesions present. One measures 6mm in size and is in the lung apex at the anterior aspect. The second one is located in the posterolateral aspect of the left mid/lower lung field in close poximity to the pleura and measures approximately 18mm in size. Despite reviewing the chest x-ray performed yesterday I cannot visualise these two lesions in the plain PA or lateral view. No other focal lung abnormality detected. No other mass lesion or sonsolidation identified. Appearance of these two nodules is non-specific ? granulomata ? more sinister lesions. Comparison with previous CT scan in May 2008 demonstrated these two lesions are new findings.
No other lung field abnormality seen. No pleural effusion noted.
Abdomen: There is a gastic band noted in situ and appears to be in reasonable position.
There is no focal abnormality seen ion the liver, spleen, pancreas or kidneys except for a cortical cyst seen in the posteromedial aspect of the right kidney at its lower third. This measures 19mm in size. There is also a smaller cortical cyst seen on the lower pole of the left kidney.
Gallbladder and biliary tree appear normal.
There is apparent splenomegaly with the spleen extending more than half the AP diameter of the abdomen. No focal lesion seen within the spleen.
There is also minor lymph glands seen in the mesenteric root and adjacent to the mid abdominal aorta but based on size criteron they are likey to be of no clinical significance.
There is also a fairly prominent proximal left ovarian vein noted extending from the inferior aspect of the mid left renal vein.
In the pelvis there is a large sepated cystic mass lesion seen occupying most of the pelvis and lower abdomen. This measures 14 x 9.3 x 11.1cm in size and demonstrates septation and predominantly fluid density. At its right posterolateral wall therte is also a slightly denser and minimal contrast enhancing mural nodule present. This measures approximately 17mm in size. I note the history of possible hydrosalpinx but I feel this lesion is too rounded and septated in appearance and likely represents a cystic tumour of the ovary ? right ovarian origin rather than hydrosalpinx. Suggest correlation with clinical history. I note there was a question raised previously with possible oophorectomy in the CT report in 2008. In understand the patient is to have a second gynaecological opinion tomorrow.
Minor pelvic side wall lymph glands are also seen but no significant mass lesion or significant enlarged lymph nodes identified. The inguinal regions on both sides are normal.
No lytic or sclerotic process identified.
No obvious hydronephrosis or hydroreter detected in the delayed images.
CONCLUSION: Large septated lobulated predominantly cystic mass lesion seen in the pelvis occupying nearly the whole of the pelvis and compressing onto the bladder at the superior aspect and extending into the lower abdomen. There is also apparent mural solid component present. Appearance is likey that of a large right ovarian cystic tumour.
Nodules seen in the left lung field in lung apex and in the posterolateral aspect of the left lower lung field. They were not seen in the precious examination in 2008. ? Possible secondary lesions or granulomata.
No hepatic secondary or pleural effusion/ascites seen.Splenomegaly.Bilateral renal cortical cysts. No over intra-abdominal lymphadenopathy identified. Minor lymph glands seen in the para-aortic region.
So yeah I'm in a v. weird headspace at the moment. Reckon my Zoloft dosage musn't be right coz I figure if I can still cry they're not working. ROFL Off to see a gyno pelvic sub-specialist this morning for another opinion....it's a given that the blob needs removing me but it's not sitting well that I have to wait until the 18th May for surgery. It's now causing pretty major discomfort 24/7 and I must admit not being able to take anti-inflammatories for my aching joints is doing me in. I kid you now I hobble around like some 75 year old hunchback old woman. I wish I could walk properly but all of the joints just aren't working right, tis a real pisser.
Well I must say dragging this blog up it's made me realise I should probably measure up and see where I'm at weight wise - I know I've lost a good few more cm's even if not so reflected on the scales but with all this other hoo-hah on at present quite simply put the size of my thighs is of no real importance right now. Nice though as when it's out and I've healed from surgery (and hopefully I can talk the surgeon into taking out a little extra abdominal fat for the road!!) perhaps my ahem, girth, will be a good smidge less. YAY!
Thanks for reading whomever you are and I'll keep this updated as kinda nice being able to talk to myself and get my feelings down on paper (for lack of a better description) as helps me plough on through the day and not get so discouraged by new findings that keeping rearing their ugly heads. Push comes to shove my CA-125's aren't too hairy and I won't know if it's anything cancerous until the gungy bits come out and all get biopsied. Brill, then I've got full-blown menopause to get my head around.....my poor delicious husband and poor children, it'll be hell around her for the next few months! LOL
Laughing at the irony though because I was thinking back to when I made my decision to get the lapband in back when I hit 39 and saying to myself "For my 40th I'll give myself the gift of good health and quit being an obese fattyboomstix so I can be around a looooong time for my kids....and then this ovarian tumour had to go and ruin all the fun. :( So much for losing 20 kgs, feeling marvellous for it but now staring down the barrel at all this carry-on. Just want it all over with (the surgery) so I can know one way or the other. Think that's pretty normal too.
Well made up with the below stats! Sometimes I stress it's all not happening fast enough however I must remind myself I've hardly employed the services of a personal trainer 3 days a week! I really must start exercising, even if just a walk everyday, however I seem so fatigued at present I truly just cannot be assed. Very poor kidney function tests came back so much to sort out this week on that front........ I was so happy to see the back of 2008 that even now as I welcome in 2009 I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this year will be hard slog for me, health wise that is. Oh well still gotta be good considering I've said goodbye to almost 17 kg that I'll never see again - that's got to help enormously - surely!